# My world has crashed....



## candycorn (Oct 31, 2011)

So my wife wants a divorce. She says she doesn't love me anymore and hasn't for like a year...but was just trying to stick it out. 
I am devastated. Again. 
My first relationship was 9 years...she cheated. We parted
My newest ex and I were together for almost 5 years and I have been living with her for over 3 and 1/2. She is my world. I love her so much...I am so lost. I have no idea why she doesn't want me any more. I sold my house to be with her. I gave away my dishes and sheets and furniture and everything. I have nothing now. Even the dang car is in her name, and while she says I can have it...I still owe 12 grand. 
Now I have to decide what the heck to do....

Stay here in the spare room for a while....I am not sure emotionally I can do that. It would be so hard to see her. I could not save any money and I could not go to school to get a better job later. Plus I would have to be around her friends and family and possibly see her date. I am pretty sure this is out.

Find an apartment...this is hard because we have three dogs and at least the basset hound is going with me and she weighs more than most apartments allow. I can afford it...although it would probably be the tight sometimes. I would however be able to keep my current job which is flexible and with my parents help might be able to go back to school so I can get a job that will support me for the rest of my life, which my current one may or may not do. But I would be lonely and of course most of the pets could not come with me.

Or

Move back home with my parents. They live out of state in a very isolated area. I would have to give up my job that I love, for a job I don;t love for way less money. I might be able to go to school as well....but it would be very long commutes for the classes I could not do online. BUT I could keep all my pets and I would not be living alone.

I am so torn. I have no idea what to do. 
My whole future is gone. We were going to save for a farm and get out of here and grow old together and my heart is just breaking. I am so lost. 
God....my world is just absolutely crashing.


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## besty74 (May 26, 2012)

so sorry to hear that this has happened to you, you are the only one who knows which route is best for you, none of us can tell you that only offer words of hope and encouragement. when i was at my lowest point my parents took me and my kids in and helped sort us out and now i am in a completely different and better life than i ever thought was possible, never give up, when you hit the bottom the only way is up.


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## ThatCertainGlow (Jun 23, 2012)

I did option A for 6 years. I remained and helped raise her child. I was able to save money though, as we agreed ahead of time what was to be household budget money, and what was not. Of the seven cats, and 8 chickens, half of them were either mine, or I was not leaving them, so an apartment really wasn't doable. Full time schooling for myself was mostly out due to the child's school activities and social needs. Online classes was the only thing I could do, and there was less of those available then there are now.

You learn to build the friendship part, and breathe through the pain. Love is wanting the best for the other person, after all. I can't say it was really ever easy, but we were both careful about trying not to hurt the other, unnecessarily. However, it wasn't a sudden dissolving of a relationship I thought was going well. We called it the 'decade long divorce', although we didn't attempt to marry at any point.

I don't regret it at all. I came out of this with a wonderful daughter, and a lifelong friend. They are both coming here for Thanksgiving, and intend to do so for years to come. Not to mention my cats are still with me.  The chickens have mostly passed on, over the years.

I have found, previously, that rental places at the outskirts of towns, such as duplexes, can be MUCH more accommodating to pets, than any type of apartment. The extra gas, and drive time was very worth it to me. I don't know if you have checked into places like that. They didn't use realtors, just wanted adds and such.

At your parent's home, you might be able to at least get the schooling you need mostly through online classes. Might be less driving you have to do, then you would think. If you go that route. It would be slower, with less money, at a job you don't enjoy, however.

Best of luck with what you decide, and I am so sorry you are going through this.

Take care,
Zanne


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## Seafolly (Mar 13, 2012)

I am so, so sorry you're experiencing this. Oddly enough I went through something similar this past weekend. My boyfriend of 10 years (and 7 months if we're really counting) decided the relationship had run its course. Then the next day, after talking it through, it was apparently based on his lack of understanding that living with me is not a dealbreaker. Long story. Complicated of course. Point is in that day I had to deal with the emotional devastation AND think of school and the pets. Things are still not okay though so really I'm plotting similar things in the back of my mind. It's a blow.

I think you're right, you can't stay with her as it'll be hard enough to process without her in your living space. I hope some answers come soon. I hope your parents and friends are being supportive and are helping you decide what to do. Naturally things are tough to see clearly right now.


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## andypandy29us (Aug 10, 2012)

Im sorry to hear your bad news ... I went thru something similar 12 months ago when my 21 year marriage fell appart ... You will have to decide what is best for you and go with that .... life isnt easy ... but things happen for a reason .. damned if I know what it is lol tho .... good luck with your decision x


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## Fantasia Mousery (Jul 16, 2011)

I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I had more words of comfort to offer. 
If it were me, I would probably try to find an appartment. Even though it's difficult, it seems like the best solution. Talk with family and friends to hear what they have to say on the subject.
I wish you all the best. Even though it's tough (and this sounds cliché), it will be alright in time.


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## Tiki108 (Nov 9, 2012)

Really sorry to hear about this, I really feel for you and I hope everything works out for you.


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